This message is deeply personal. I thought I would put it out there in case somebody needed to hear it.
I had a very tough year last year. My health was in continuous decline and nobody could tell me why. I hadn’t been right for years. I suffered from extreme fatigue; I had no stamina, had difficulty focusing and staying on task, and had several migraines a week.
I prayed for years for relief and never received any..
Then last June I was really in trouble. I had lost 20 pounds from the beginning of the year and was horribly weak. I had zero stamina. I would vacuum the rugs and afterwards would have to sleep for two hours I was so exhausted. I tried to schedule an appointment with my family doctor but he happened to be on vacation but the head of his group was available immediately so I went to see him. It appeared to him that given my history of IBS that I may have Crones Disease. I went for blood work and batteries of tests were scheduled. When the blood work came back they had the answer. I was diagnosed with CLL: Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.
When I received the call this Doctor had already arranged for a former student of his who is a hematologist/oncologist to see me. I tell you that getting that call was like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. I half heard what he was telling me but I gathered myself enough to get down to see his former student.
I was told it was the Chronic form of Leukemia and that it is a very slow progressing cancer. I was also told that while it is not curable, it is very treatable. I was still at stage zero and no treatment was required right away. CT scans showed my spleen and liver were enlarged but not beyond what is ‘normal;’ for my condition.
During the intervening months we had gathered my medical records and discovered that I had CLL from at least late 2005. The blood work I had done then indicated I had it but it was missed. We found another test from late 2006 where it was evident but not diagnosed.
Fast forward to last November: My condition and blood work started going downhill. My spleen had enlarged and treatment was now required.
I just finished treatment at the end of December and my follow up exams show my blood work much improved. The lymph count and percentage is still high but the rest of the CBC was normal or just a tad on the high side. My spleen is back to normal size but the fatigue lingers. It’s not as bad as it was. I can at least vacuum without collapsing but I still cannot work a full day, never mind a 40 hour week.
People with my condition live a fairly long time. Survival ranges out as long as 25 years but with all the new treatments available my chances for a normal life span are good.
Regardless, God is in charge and he will determine the outcome of all of this.
I have in the meantime learned what it means to walk by faith, not by sight. I have been through the deepest valley, climbed the highest mountain and faced down the largest giant. I learned what it means to wait on the Lord(I'm still learning). I prayed and prayed for years but in HIS time I received the answer.
I also learned what a movement of the spirit looked like. The whole series of events that led to my diagnosis and treatment could have been nothing else but the hand of God. Sometimes God allows things to happen, trials to take place.
Be aware of this when things get tough:
Romans 8:28
“All things work together for good for those who love the LORD and are called according to his purpose”
He is always there, always with us as believers:
Isaiah 43:2
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."
Until the next time, may the LORD bless us and keep us, in Jesus name I pray.
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